Monday 28 November 2016

 Kmina Panti. Boy- Agar Wo Meri Ni Hui To Me Use Kisi Or Ki Bi Nhi Hone Dunga. Kamina Frnd- Or Bhai Agar Wo Teri Ho Gyi To Sabki Hone Dega Na.
Pichli baar Ghajini Dekhkar Jin Logon Ne Sar Mundwa Liya the
Unke liye Hindi movie PK kisi Agni-pariksha se kaam nahi
Dosto.....
Akhir wo samay aa gaya jab hum
Subah uthkar jindgi ka sabse mushkil phesala karte hai
Ki aj nahana hai ya nahi.......................winter specia  
farmaishi geeto ke es karykram me agli farmaish lete h funny political jokes
Delhi se "Arwind jee" ki.......geet ke bol h.........
Sajna hai mughe Dharna ke liye


wife ko samghna matlap - 50 GB ka video download karna aur

49.5 GB download hone ke baad error dekhana
Sam: dost tu itna bada ho gaya aur phir bhi abhi tak tere ko
dadhi- mooch nahi aayi?
yash: main bilkul apni maa par gaya hoon

sam Kaha- "I love you"
Girl-Mera Boyfriend hai
sam Kaha- purana jayega tabhi to naya aayega
OLX par bech de..:P
Ab ye afwah/rumors kisne failayi hai
Just after announcement OROP
Some opposition party leaders caught fever
Some hve depression...
MODI sarkar ke orop ki ghosna ka baad aab kajiwaal ko bci chahiya ki wo opor 1 (palate 1 Raita) ki ghosna kar de

Principle: Late Q Hue
Boy: Bike Khrab Ho Gai Thi
Principle: Bus Me Nahi Aa Skty The
Boy: Maine Kaha Th SIR
Par Apki Beti k Nakhre Khtm Ho Tab Na..... 

Zindgi me jo chiz asani se mile - Dokha
Jo muskil se mile - Kushi
Aur jo bade nasib walo ko mile?
Ab main apni tarif Khud kaise kare ....
Hey, tera affair chalu hai & u hvnt told me,
chal jane de i can undrstnd. bt who’s dat?
Agar aise msgs mummy padh le to kitna mazaa aaega..

Ikhtiyar-e-tarnum ki tabassum k taqadus ki ranaiyoon se jahalat ki tariqi ko mita dena. . . . !
Jab iss ka mtlb smjh aaye tou mjhe B bta dena.

A Girl siting on a park bench.
Funny Beggar: Hi sweetheart.
She angrily: How dare U call me sweetheart?
Beggar: Then What the HELL R U doing on my BED..

Khoobsurat ladkiyan zyada padhai nahi karti Bcoz wo janti He ke duniya ke kisi kone me koi gadha unke liye engineer ya docter ban raha hoga...

Biggest Joke on Doctor. . .
Dr. to patient's friend:
Agar 1 ghanta pehle le aate to
hum isey bacha lete. . .

Patient's Friend:
Abay, 15 min pehle tou accident
hua ha


Wednesday 25 May 2016

Animal Jokes Where does fish keep their money? In a river-bank! When is it bad luck to see a black cat? When you’re a mouse! Why is it easy to spot Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers! What steps will you take if a tiger is running towards you? Of course big steps to run. Which is the strongest animal? A snail, because He always carries his house on his back! How do prawns and clams communicate? With shell-phones! Why would an octopus vs. squid war be terrible? Because they are both so well-armed! What fur do we get from a Tiger? As fur away as possible! Why does the ocean twinkle at night? It’s full of starfish! What do you get when you cross an octopus and a cow? An animal that can milk itself! Why oysters do not share their pearls? Because they are shellfish! How do fish without cars get around? Octo-bus! What is common between a tree and a dog? Both Dog and Tree lose their bark when they die. What do bees do if they want to use public transport? Wait at the buzz stop. What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Its shadow! Why are elephants so wrinkled? Because it will take too long to iron! What a dog will do when he loses his tail? He will prefer to go to a re-tail store. Why leopards can’t hide anywhere? Because they are always spotted. Do you know why bees just hum? Because they don’t know how to say words! Why the Teddy bears never feel hungry? Because they are always stuffed!

Tuesday 24 May 2016

We have compiled a great collection of short, wacky, and funny one liners that use witty wordplay. These funny puns and one liners will surely get your attention of your child. Go ahead and test yourself silly with this collection of confusing puns. These wacky one liners will certainly have you and your mates in splits.

Have you wondered that writing with a broken pencil is pointless?

Did you know why the bicycle just could not stand on its own? Simply because, it is two-tired [too tired]

If you can show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, I will show you A-flat minor.

Have you noticed that when a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds?

It is obvious that people who happened to become too big for their britches will definitely be exposed in the end [ends]

Did you hear about the supervisor who fell into the duvet-making machine, now happens to be fully re-covered?

Is it not true that a chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion?

It is true when they say that every calendar's days are numbered.

Did you know that bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Ever wondered that the definition of a will? It is definitely a dead giveaway.

Ever noticed that a boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

When the students noticed that the electricity went off during a storm, they were delighted [de-lighted]

Heard about the boy who wore spectacles during mathematics class because it really improved division [the vision]

She had a boyfriend, who had a wooden leg, but broke it off.

Heard about the people who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

Did you know that he used to be a tap dancer until he fell into the sink?

Heard about the saying that it is better to love a short girl than not a tall.

It was not that school that Joe disliked; it was just the principal of it.

Heard about the cross-eyed teacher who could not control his pupils.

Although she was just a malt brewer, he loved her still.

Did you know that the bomb that was thrown into a tile shop in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart [Napoleon Bonaparte!]?

Did you hear about the ghost at the hotel... they had to call for an inn spectre [inspector].

Is it not obvious that the person, who invented the doorknocker, should be awarded a No-bell prize?

Every girl gets with her marriage, a new name, and a dress.

Did you know that old power plant laborers never die, instead they just de-generate.

A young man wanted to know the real taste of a luxury car, so he crashed his new and discovered how the Mercedes bends [Benz]

Most of the Spanish government employees are Seville servants.

The late news reported that two peanuts who happened to be walking in a tough neighborhood late night, and one of them was apparently a-salted.

Did you know that the diminutive psychic who fled from jail is now a miniature medium at large?

It is not surprising when the popular Hollywood actress noticed her grey hair; she realized it was time for her to dye.

Wise saying in Egypt – if you show someone in denial, they will show you a person in Egypt up to their ankles.

It was said that only when the cannibals had eaten a missionary they got the real taste of religion.

It is not surprising that long distance runners wearing poor footwear constantly endure the agony of defeat.

The man often broke into song because he could not find the right key.

It is said that while some people consider marriage as a word, the rest consider it a sentence.

It was on later that he found out that driving on so many turnpikes was taking its toll.

It is very late that people realize that in democracy it is their vote that counts, but sadly in feudalism it is their count that votes.

Long distance runners are advised to take their laptops during their run, so that they could jog their memory.

Another court saying - old lawyers simply never die, they just lose their appeal.

Jack and Jane’s wedding was so emotional that even the cake happened to be in tiers [tears]

Most religions consider atheism to be a non-prophet organization

Is it not true that a cardboard belt, is obviously a waist of paper? Did you hear about the fight between the dentist and the manicurist, it is said they had it out tooth and nail.

It was after sometime that the professor accepted that his theory on earthquakes was more on shaky ground.

The most roundest and obese knight at King Arthur's round table at Avalon was was Sir Cumference [circumfrance].

And one to end the day…

When a kid happened to swallow some coins, he was immediately rushed to a hospital. When the concerned parents called to enquire how he was, the nurse simply replied that there was no change yet.

Finally, when the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A. [you see Los Angeles]

Well, that is it. Hope these questions kept your brain busy for some time… Now, it is time to break your friends’ heads! For more such jokes, please visit our archives. Enjoy your fun time!

Monday 23 May 2016

Q: Why did the crazy scientist prevent the sick eagle from entering his lab?
A: Simply, because it was ill-eagle or illegal!

Q: How are tough chickens made?
A: They are made from hard boiled eggs.

Q: How do cowboys watch television when they are out?
A: By saddle lights.

Q: What is the swamp-thing’s favourite dessert?
A: Perhaps, marsh mellows…

Q: Who is bigger - Mr Bigger or his baby?
A: Mr. Bigger's baby is “Little Bigger”

Q: What is a pussycat who eats lemon called?
A: A sourpuss.

Q: First, there is a red mill, then a walk and then there is a key. What is it called?
A: Milwaukee.

Q: How many seconds are in a year?
A: Twelve – [2nd January to 2nd December].

Q: Which American has the largest family?
A: George Washington - He's the father of the country [USA]

Q: Which team is the monster's favourite one?
A: The Giants.

Q: Which state in the happiest in the USA?
A: Merry Land [Maryland]

Q: Where do boars save their cash?
A: Piggy banks, of course.

Q: What made the orange stop suddenly?
A: It just ran out of juice.

Q: How did the crazy scientist stretch his imagination?
A: He simply put an elastic band around his head.

Q: What do you call a foreign ant?
A: Import-Ant.

Q: What do ghosts have for breakfast?
A: Boo-loney snacks.

Q: Why do flies walk on the ceiling and not on the floor?
A: Because, someone might stamp on them if they walked on the floor.

Q: When does a man not become a man?
A: When he turns into an [alley].

Q: How can one tell when bells are behaving properly?
A: If it rings only when tolled.

Q: How do you differentiate between a whole apple and half an apple?
A: The whole apple can look round.

Q: Why are there no stories about beds?
A: Obviously, they have not been made.

Q: What happened to the fight in the candy store?
A: Two suckers got licked…

Q: What do trees say to the woodpecker?
A: You bore me.

Q: What colour was Napoleon's white horse?
A: “Duh”…

Sunday 22 May 2016

Q: Why did the crazy scientist prevent the sick eagle from entering his lab?
A: Simply, because it was ill-eagle or illegal!

Q: How are tough chickens made?
A: They are made from hard boiled eggs.

Q: How do cowboys watch television when they are out?
A: By saddle lights.

Q: What is the swamp-thing’s favourite dessert?
A: Perhaps, marsh mellows…

Q: Who is bigger - Mr Bigger or his baby?
A: Mr. Bigger's baby is “Little Bigger”

Q: What is a pussycat who eats lemon called?
A: A sourpuss.

Q: First, there is a red mill, then a walk and then there is a key. What is it called?
A: Milwaukee.

Q: How many seconds are in a year?
A: Twelve – [2nd January to 2nd December].

Q: Which American has the largest family?
A: George Washington - He's the father of the country [USA]

Q: Which team is the monster's favourite one?
A: The Giants.

Q: Which state in the happiest in the USA?
A: Merry Land [Maryland]

Q: Where do boars save their cash?
A: Piggy banks, of course.

Q: What made the orange stop suddenly?
A: It just ran out of juice.

Q: How did the crazy scientist stretch his imagination?
A: He simply put an elastic band around his head.

Q: What do you call a foreign ant?
A: Import-Ant.

Q: What do ghosts have for breakfast?
A: Boo-loney snacks.

Q: Why do flies walk on the ceiling and not on the floor?
A: Because, someone might stamp on them if they walked on the floor.

Q: When does a man not become a man?
A: When he turns into an [alley].

Q: How can one tell when bells are behaving properly?
A: If it rings only when tolled.

Q: How do you differentiate between a whole apple and half an apple?
A: The whole apple can look round.

Q: Why are there no stories about beds?
A: Obviously, they have not been made.

Q: What happened to the fight in the candy store?
A: Two suckers got licked…

Q: What do trees say to the woodpecker?
A: You bore me.

Q: What colour was Napoleon's white horse?
A: “Duh”…

Saturday 21 May 2016

Q: What made the man fix his car horn?
A: Since it did not give a hoot.

Q: What really happened when uncle “Abel” passed away?
A: He just became “Unable”

Q: What do you to do to make notes of stone?
A: Just rearrange the letters.

Q: What can be drawn without a drawing aid?
A: Your breath.

Q: What was the umbrella that Louis XI used to carry in the rain?
A: Obviously, a wet one.

Q: What is the standard greeting of the lion to the other animals?
A: Am pleased to eat you!

Q: When do you put a watch in the oven?
A: When you want to have a hot time.

Q: What is the first step to getting rich?
A: Learn to shut up, as silence is golden.

Q: What did the little bulb say to the mom bulb?
A: I wove you watts and watts.

Q: Which apple has the shortest temper?
A: The crab apple.

Q: What does one call a bear with no ear?
A: B. (No ear)

Q: Is it better to write on a full or an empty stomach?
A: Writing on paper works the best.

Q: Which animal has more lives than the cat?
A: Frogs, because they “croak” each night.

Q: What goes around a field but does not move?
A: The fence.

Q: Which is the easiest way to make a cigarette “lighter”?
A: Simple – just take out the tobacco.

Q: What happens when you eat alphabet soup?
A: You swallow your words.

Q: What made the boy from believing the tiger?
A: He thought it was lion [lying].

Q: Why do people always begin their journey with the right foot first?
A: Mainly because when you move one foot, the other is left behind.

Q: What happens to a refrigerator when you shut off its power?
A: It loses its cool.

Q: Why do storks stand on one leg only?
A: If they lifted that, they would fall down.

Q: Differentiate a greedy person and an electric toaster?
A: While one takes the most, the other makes the toast.

Q: Name an invisible baby drink?
A: Evaporated milk.

Q: Why don't scarecrows have any fun?
A: Simply because they are stuffed shirts.

Q: Why did the chicken hesitate to cross the street?
A: Since there was a KFC on the other side.
Patient: Doctor, please can you help me out? Doctor: Yes, you may make your way out the same way you come in.!

Friday 20 May 2016

Four women living in the neighborhood were invited to a party. They were discussing about the dress they would wear for the party. They finally decided to choose the color that matches with the hair color of their husband. The first woman told, ‘I will go with red as my husband colored his hair red’ The second woman said, ‘I always prefer black as my husband’s hair color is naturally black!’ The third woman told, ‘Yeah, then I do prefer to go with yellow dress as he has blonde hair!’ (yellow) The fourth woman was quiet. All the other insisted her about her preferred color. She said, ‘I was thinking a lot but can’t choose any color, I can’t wear any dress because my husband is bald!’

Thursday 19 May 2016

Customer called to Tech support: “my computer is not connecting to Internet” Tech support: “Ok, which operating system are you using?” Customer: “Internet explorer”! Tech support: “No, you just right click on “my computer” and click on the properties menu” Customer: “what are you saying, this is not your computer, it is my computer”!

Wednesday 18 May 2016

One day a software engineer drowned at the sea. There are many people on the beach and they heard him crying out. But no one understood what he was trying to say. Can you guess what he was trying to say? “F1, F1”

Tuesday 17 May 2016

During a cold winter day a wife messaged to her husband that “the Windows frozen”. Husband replied to pour some warm water on them. After a while husband received a message again “No way, the computer is completely spoilt now”/

Monday 16 May 2016

Mother to Johnny: “how was your exam, is all questions difficult?” Johnny: “No mom, all the questions were simple, It was the answers which gave me all the trouble”!

Sunday 15 May 2016

A lady was running to catch a train to Bangalore. She reached the station and was searching for the train. 

Passenger: (Asked to the station master) Sir, is this my train? 
Station Master: No Madam, this is not your train, it’s railways department’s train. 
Passenger: (Annoyed) That’s a good joke. Don’t act too smart. What I meant was, can I take this train to Bangalore?
Station Master: No ma’am, you cannot! This train is so BIG and you can’t take it. 
Passenger: Its really funny! Now say me, will this train take me to Bangalore? 
Station Master: NO ma’am. The train can’t take you. The train driver will drive it to Bangalore!

The passenger fainted!

Saturday 14 May 2016

एक बच्चे ने अपने पिता से एक शादी समारोह में पूछा,पापा शादी के मंडप में दूल्हा दुल्हन का हाथ क्यो पकडता है?
पिता ने लंबी सांस भर कर कहा- बेटा यह तो एक रस्म है. कुश्ती से पहले पहलवान भी अखाडे में हाथ मिलाते है। 
A customer ordered a cup of coffee in a restaurant! The waiter served the coffee. The customer found a fly in the coffee. He called the waiter.

Customer: How do I drink this coffee!
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink a coffee? 
Customer: Waiter, see, there is a fly in my coffee. 
Waiter: Oh yes sir, you are right! There is a fly in your coffee. 
Customer: Waiter, I said, there is a fly in MMY coffee (He stressed the word MY)
Waiter: Oh don’t worry sir, the fly won’t drink much! 
Customer: Waiter, it is swimming in my coffee. 
Waiter: Sir, do you want me to get a lifeguard for the fly sir? 
(Annoyed) Customer: the fly dead, it’s irritating! 
Waiter: I guess, it doesn’t know how to swim properly. 
Customer: How do I drink this coffee? 
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink? I will teach you! 

He drank the coffee! And said, this is how you should drink a coffee.